I embarked on an interesting journey learning more about gratitude – giving and receiving it. I’ve had an even more interesting time observing people from various cultures experiencing gratitude.
Eye Contact
Until recently, I never realized that eye contact was such a serious issue – whether it is giving eye contact or being comfortable holding it. Very few times did I come across a person who couldn’t hold eye contact with me. Perhaps, I didn’t realize what was occurring or paid enough attention.
Looking back now, I feel that the time(s) I did notice it, I probably went chasing for eye contact especially if I picked up on something weird. Then again, I think averting eye contact from someone you decided to engage with is abnormal for me. I’m also learning how vastly different people can be. As some in SE Asia would say, “same, same but different.”
I give eye contact because I honor the time, attention and words people decided to share with me. Some people complain about various levels of engagement, but I cherish it. I try to learn something from each encounter.
It isn’t easy opening your heart to someone and connecting with them, especially a ‘stranger’. For some reason, I just didn’t connect eye contact with confidence, inner joy or anything related. I guess it’s common knowledge that if you’re feeling down, you’re more than likely to avert eye contact or connections, in most cases.
In different countries, eye contact can be especially revealing and some would call it unnerving. Although I don’t mind having eye contact with the one I’m speaking to, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to someone staring at me from afar for what feels like hours, and sometimes without blinking.
Does the more eye contact you give something or someone, the more gratitude or curiosity you have for it? How do most people feel when their attention, positive or negative is returned?
While on the road, I have had quite a few opportunities to test a bunch of theories. Some of my observations are: It’s about 50/50 that if I return a stare that the person will look away. Some ladies are not immune to staring at other women (staring for minutes, not seconds). That one definitely shocked me. People definitely have varying definitions of ‘privacy’ as well as gratitude.
Being Present
When you’re present and not distracted, you have more of a tendency to pick up on a variety of things, including seemingly subtle things. There are significant moments, looks, interactions, cues and such that if I blinked or was not present, I would have easily missed. Some of these things could have affected my personal security.
When I pause to think how far I’ve come to be in this present moment, I can’t help but smile and sometimes, smirk or laugh. I definitely give myself gratitude for that!
What do you feel when you think about how far you’ve come? When you take a deep breath to realize how many wounds you’ve healed, do you smile? Do you feel gratitude about how many obstacles you’ve obliterated or barely crawled through? Do you think about how strong you’ve become to endure it all? If thinking about it makes you smile, consider saving those moments in your un-hackable database of memories.
Smiling Within
Sometimes, it can be difficult to smile. However, the longer you dismiss the need to smile, the more likely you’ll become colder. Life isn’t supposed to be punishment, but something like a relay course to know oneself.
Think back at your journey and recall things that make you smile, whether it’s remembering how far you’ve come, accomplishments, how strong you’ve become, memories of love and kindness, save these moments into your database.
Play these moments as necessary to sustain your inner smile. No one needs to know but you!
Smiling Outward
When I used to walk alone, I remember people asking me why I wasn’t smiling and I never knew how to answer that, even though the question used to make my inner child giggle. Healing work made me realize that I believed I would attract negative encounters if I smiled randomly, as it has done in the past.
When I travel, I still feel nervous and unsure about smiling but I now realize it may be something like community service to smile. So many people are hiding pain. Maybe your smile will relieve some burden. Perhaps, smiling raises the frequency and is a reminder that it is okay to be kind? What are your thoughts on this?
What does Joy Look Like?
I used to joke that someone showing off their teeth doesn’t necessarily mean they are happy, joyful or at peace. They could just be flashing their fangs! So, what does joy look like to you?
I ask because I’m more conscious of what it doesn’t look like when I’m walking about. Some people can stand so expressionless for so long – with and without blinking – that they resemble what we think are ghosts or some may argue, super creepy.
What does Joy Feel Like?
To me, joy feels like a nice, long, warm hug. It’s like children playing without a care in the world – the way the rest of the world should be as well.
I’ll never understand why most of us do not want to feel that everyday, all day but do we feel joy for what seems like no apparent reason or are we trying to carry mountains of burden on our heads?
We spend so much time thinking, planning and contemplating everything else in the world, so why can’t we spend as much time being in joy?
Why does Gratitude Matter?
To me, gratitude matters because that’s the quickest route to joy, inner peace and positive well-being. If you’ve ever had something taken away, you’ll remember how you felt. If you were lucky enough to have it returned, you’ll remember the intense relief and gratitude you felt, just for getting back what you once had. Something you may or may not have had gratitude for beforehand.
Imagine feeling the sense of relief most of the time but without that tang of fear. I think it’s something, not only worth exploring but something we should actively focus our attention on. Don’t you?
Pumping out Positive Vibes
I’d like to believe that if all of us felt gratitude and joy, it would be like a sweet breeze of lavender, saffron, lilac or marigold filling up the world.
Imagine walking on a busy street and feeling like most people were present and joyful – where people actually saw each other.
Imagine if people actually listened to each other. Would there be less conflicts?
Gratitude Does a Body Good
When you’re grateful, you’re on ‘cloud 9.’ What does that mean to you? Why is that?
Do you remember how you feel when you’re joyful? When was the last time you were truly joyful?
Gratitude Triggers Creativity
When in gratitude, it tends to spark flashes of creative ideas. However, it is up to you to put in the effort required to properly execute these ideas into beneficial art.
When in a creative rut, consider taking some time out to welcome in gratitude and joy. Then, let the creativity come crashing in. Keep a clear, positive mind for it to flow it without obstacles.
Gratitude is Self-Love Challenge Guidelines
If you’ve read this far, congratulate yourself. You’re determined and it will only take some patience, concentration and perseverance to make it a habit at first, then it’ll flow as part of your being – your healed and balanced well-being.
I’ve thought of an interesting and fun game to guide you into a life of gratitude.
Simply add the day of your birth day. For example, if born on the 12th, you would add 1 + 2 to equal 3. If you’re born on the 5th, then that would be 5. The number you come up with is the amount of times per day that you must not only smile at someone but also give some form of gratitude, NOT attitude. One of those times, only one, can be gratitude to yourself.
You determine how long you want this challenge to go on, but as with anything else, the longer the better. The longer you commit to this challenge or game, the more likely you’ll be able to see the change within yourself and your life.
Documenting Results
If you feel changes, feel free to document your results. You can document them by writing in a journal, taking photographs, blogging, making videos, drawing or some other art, and so on.
Reflections
Documenting your journey helps people know whether a life of gratitude would work for them. It also reminds you of your progress, and encourages you to keep going or how to do things differently for another outcome.
Whether you decide on participating in this self-love challenge and for how long, enjoy your journey stress-free for what will be will be – that is, whatever you focus on will be.
Happy Journey and don’t forget to let it flow!