Intentional communities as a whole has been trending for some time. There are many types of communities, of various sizes and objectives, located all over the world. Communities come in a wide variety of missions.
Types of Communities
Some communities cater to agriculture or farming, artists and artisans, religion or spirituality while some focus on serving segments of the population, like indigenous, homeless, women – with or without children, travelers and more.
Ashrams
Mostly located in India, ashrams offer benevolent services to the community. Some ashrams feed thousands of people D A I L Y!!! I’ve read of many but unfortunately, have yet to visit one. It is on my things-to-do. I’m incredibly intrigued by how people can serve so many at once, especially on a consistent basis.
Intentional Farm Communities or Eco Villages
There is incredible variety of such communities, even within the same category. Some focus on different types of gardening, some operate more like a resort while some smaller ones, focus on community events or a specific objective.
Utopias
Utopias tend to be bigger and usually focus on a specific message for the benefit of their members.
You can research to see which ones are in your area or if you’d like to visit someplace new, it is a good reason to visit. Just make sure to call beforehand to get permission because some communities are only open to members or only open to the public during certain times of the day.
Religious Communities
Not all communities focus on agriculture, some focus on religious or spiritually-focused objectives. It’s difficult to figure out what community is a cult, if that’s not your type of tea. Unfortunately, they don’t advertise as such.
Please understand that we apparently have different interpretations of typical words, like community centers, schools, churches, temples and more. Do you really believe the leaders of cults think they’re doing something wrong?
Variety
Since there is a wide variety of communities to choose from, you can unknowingly get into a community you weren’t planning for.
If cults are your type of tea, be proud of it. No need to lie or shame. What is unrighteous is when one or a group pretend to be something they’re not and using so-called influence or fear to extract various things from people that one wouldn’t do in an honest, straight-forward manner.
Being Taken Advantage of
Some people will try to take advantage of your goodwill in various ways. Maybe they’ll use the volunteering for a variety of humanitarian causes or even a religious aspect to pull people in. Some will try to bait people who are new to the area, lonely or may be looking for new friends, like college students.
At first, things will always seem noble, “normal” and/or innocent. However, as time progresses, if you’re paying attention, the veil starts lifting. It is up to you to always be observant of people and your environment. Only you can determine what you like or do not like. Some people may think that a trap is actually a nest. Everyone is different.
Money, Money, Money
Some people will claim that asking for money is one sure way to recognize whether someone or an organization is legitimate or not. That’s not always the case, as many of you, entrepreneurs are aware of. It goes without saying that businesses, organizations, ashrams and homeless shelters all cost a lot of money to run.
If you’re staying at a place or even volunteering at one, asking for funds doesn’t necessarily mean they’re up to no good. It all depends on how they ask, how much they ask for and what purpose is the money being used for. If they don’t tell you what it’s for or they ask for more and more and you can’t figure out what it’s being used for, then that may be a red flag. If you donate money, it is reasonable to ask what it’s being used for and in some cases, you can even ask for documentation or other type of proof.
Some Typical Cultish Flags
I consider these to by typical, but you may not agree.
Separation from family or being condescending about your relationships: Causing the separation from loved ones is a common tactic among various types of predators. They don’t want you to be influenced by the common sense of others so they keep you away.
The most likely explanation will be something like they have a negative influence on your journey or are not “saved.” I’ve even heard of heart-breaking stories of people not allowed to visit dying relatives.
Preventing you from visiting loved ones: This tactic is simply a variation of the separation tactic and usually occurs first. It is what I would call the primary attempt at control. The cult, leader(s) or members may use the same explanation that you are not yet ready mentally or spiritually to visit others. It is a bitter pill to swallow but the shame that usually comes along with it makes it something many willingly swallow – a form of self-punishment for being “sinful.”
Taking and/or Selling your possessions to fund their missions: We all know how challenging it usually is to acquire certain things, be it a home, furniture, money or other valuable material. To some misleaders, they view taking your valuables away as a great way to prove devotion.
Unfortunately, I’ve had the privilege of watching this happen to a good friend of mine. She was forced into giving up her relatively new furniture set that took her so much energy to attain. She felt so bad, questioned it but gave in after some pressure. It was heart-wrenching to witness.
If someone guilts, manipulates or shames you into sacrificing, donating or giving away your possessions to prove devotion, loyalty or righteousness, you may want to really take a good look within to ask yourself why you think this is acceptable.
A common spiritual lesson is to overcome the desire for worship. Some make money off of it, but things here are cyclical.
People obviously perceive things differently based on a variety of factors we may or may not know or understand, but witnessing the suffering of my friends was the beginning of my journey out of there.
Taking up all of your time: It is common knowledge in some circles that predators move slowly at first, watching, selecting and understanding their prey. What’s not usually told, however, is that this is also the “prey’s” time to figure out they are among and being watched by a predator. There are always red flags, but you must see and acknowledge it as such – not dismiss it because of fear or other reason.
One way to know what type of person you’re around is your initial resistance to whatever they propose. Your body will tense up when someone is pushing your boundaries. The question is how do you translate and respond to it.
A cult or other predator will make little, seemingly innocent-sounding requests at first, then evolve to bigger and more invasive ones. They may ask that you help them for something noble enough to be proud of then, before you know it, all of your time and energy are being depleted. Pay attention!
One way to know is when you finally take time to breathe away from them, you realize your own life is in shambles, simply because of all you’re giving up proving your worth to people who probably don’t even care about you.
Invasive Rules: Predators take their time evaluating your sense of worth. The journey to completely control you can be viewed as almost romantic. Rules are commonplace but there are two types: reasonable and unreasonable rules or better yet, reasonable and invasive. You’ve got to figure out what an invasive rule or request is to you.
For example, do you consider the following rules as reasonable or invasive:
The time you must wake up, work, sleep, eat.
What or how you eat. Does your answer change if the rule applies when you’re not at the community?
Who you speak to and how often.
Who you date and sleep with and how often.
How much money you donate on a regular basis
Whether you are permitted to work outside or not.
Whether you’re free to leave the community and what you’re allowed to engage in if you’re allowed out.
Sexual Innuendos: I have wondered how misleaders would get their members into a sexual situation knowing other members are doing the same. Obviously, it happens but why? How would you react? Would you consider it if given enough attention and gifts? Is it sexual freedom if it’s a one-way affair? Thankfully, I didn’t have to witness or hear about any such instances.
Worship: We’ve all heard of the worship of God, but some people have managed to convince their members that they are the one and only chosen one. Sometimes, the leader doesn’t even have to say so, but it is implied. Members may foam at the mouth or even have convulsions when they walk by. To each his own, but to me, I consider that to be one sure cultish flag. That is especially so if the ambiance of the ‘community’ qualifies for the red flags above.
Intense Recruiting Practices: Members may feel like they are saving the world or souls when following the instruction of getting more followers. You’ll probably be told to leave no stone unturned, but to skip on any unsavory types. There may be special emphasis on school-age children or college students new to the area.
Intimidation and Fear Tactics: This red flag is more common that you may think but the application can vary in temperature. Remember, they usually work slow at first, so intimidation and fear are best served when they think they already have some control over you. They’ve been watching and measuring you, keeping a profile on you so cult leaders and their accomplices would know how to push your buttons and know what you consider important.
One-way Oneness: When misleaders and members preach oneness until you need something, pay attention! Even more so if they shame you after you’ve made a reasonable request.
These are just some of the common red flags of cults, no matter what they name their organization. Some people are happy at cults, even after knowing or figuring this out about their membership. It all depends on how you feel about it and what your boundaries are. However, true love doesn’t come with pressure, intimidation or fear tactics. Some disagree.
If you’re called to create an intentional community and serve your community rather than only yourself, you probably won’t accidentally create a cult. Relax on establishing rules and if the rules you wish to implement are so invasive that you wouldn’t accept them if you were a member, then simply rethink things.
Let’s say you decide to run a vegan community, would you consider restricting members from going to non-vegan establishments to be a red flag or reasonable? How would you monitor your members? What if they broke the rules? What if visitors were not vegans but visiting to determine whether it was the right choice for them? Circumstances can get tricky pretty fast.
People who control others are in fear themselves. There is a correlation in the degree of fear one feels with the amount of control used on others. If your community rules are too strict, explore why that is. What exactly do you fear and why? What can you do to let that go to improve your chances of success?
If your awesome concept of a community is instead, a low-key cult due to its unreasonable rules, people will figure it out. Why give something you wouldn’t accept?